Kaivalya

Alas, I'm lost again in my own verse: "Nihilistic world I live in my days And in my nights my eyes see blinding rays" Over me perhaps was this long spelt curse. But, yet since I discovered the Tenth Muse, Read her broken lines of tenderly love: In winds of poesy she flew like a dove For Fires of passion her art was the fuse: I sang an elegy to my own past And learnt new techniques of a new device; Sappho, the one who has gracefully cast Entwining with her li'l fingers this dice Called "lyrical poesy" that grew up to last And has on this Earth no equal in price. Siddartha Pamulaparty Jan 21 2007.

I have no shame in confessing to the world of a certain love of mine, which failed through conscious effort of my mind. This love started way back in the summer of last year. Although I met her a couple of times before and came close to converse, it was not until the day I knew it was my last week in London that I really got close to her. She gave me a warm welcome and I courted well with her. In fact, better than anyone close to me would have expected me to fair in these kinds of affairs. All my friends came to know of this new phase in my life slowly and some friends far off are still oblivious of this. I made no attempts to conceal the fact, but neither did I boast of the novel pleasures I found each day and each night. It might sound funny, but each time we met, I took her into me. I used to wet her with my saliva sometimes, as I voraciously enjoyed every moment of our union. She was hot like a fire...a fire that burnt her. I tend to exagerrate, but I could see fumes coming out of

my love, what can I speak about while in your arms on the bed last night i felt i like i found my angel beside you i found my heaven..... remember the time we first met my eyes were on yours for a long time while my heart beats sang you a song girl, i wish if it was that way forever...... together each minute we spent could i ever forget, through all that we went? sometimes being happy and gay and in joy sometimes a little angry and little sad, oh boy!! no matter what i loved you before you and you left me before i even realized what happened in the year that had past memories of which will with me forever last. -Siddartha Pamulaparty December, 2006-January , 2007.

My mind is as sinuous as a python coiled on a tree I did forsake my virtues and set my evil ego free My heart is full of wickedness and infinite desires Seeking which I insulted the holy sacrificial fires My trembling body is smeared with poison all over it I lost all my bearings,and am enslaved by my cruel wit My scorching eyes are devoid of moisture and mirth I malignated and perverted my decent noble birth My burning belly is ever hungry for more lustful crimes I think I have over-lived my mortal age by many times And even when the obedient angels of death have come To take me with them to the Hell, maybe my true home In all of my selfishness I called on my son's name Which by a sheer chance or some kind of Divine Game Happened to be same as one of the thousand names of Him The slayer of my dirty sin and destroyer of my whim In the event of my present mortal moment, dear my Lord Just bespeaking the most significant and august word I have been forgiven of my most crooked deeds of

in the holy nakedness of my body i plunder through the woods of terror running in the fields, blazing with a fire i take with me the storms and thunder spreading panic on each face i gaze at with my fearsome eyes glowing with splendor. in the wily cunningness of my mind i slaughter the heads of the intelligent creating havoc across the continents i stir the ocean waters like a coiled serpent hissing poison into the omnipresent winds with my cancered lungs- tumored and vent. in the crazy cruelness of my soul i torture the beasts that can speak hollowing them of their inhibitions i tonsure their heads and pluck out their beaks burning with rage and screaming like hell with my strained tongue, far from being meek. Siddartha Pamulaparty January 15, 2007.

I was reading Rabindranath Tagore's novel "The Home and The World", in which I read a line that captured my thoughts for quite sometime: " Perfect gain is the best of all; but if it is impossible to achieve, then perfect loss is the next best thing. " I have seen life in the brightest lights I have been through many wakeful nights I have traveled across here and there Like the aimless wind that blows everywhere I have known what one's feeling is To discover the world of Atlantis And just when I was about to call My friends I lost, I began to fall To steepest valleys, darkest woods Into the arms of the devil that broods About love and lust and lovely death And how it feels when one stops to breath. I have known as many before me did That perfect gain always is splendid But when things go wrong and vile and gross I seek, the next which is best, the perfect loss. -Siddartha Pamulaparty January 11, 2007

sea is just a destiny that stays outside our land but the body of water that flows from its heart and fills all the homes with treasures of food grains and with it takes every shard, every broken part of the profane, pitiless and pervert human brains! that again which floods the dirtiest streets and cleans up every dark corner covered with cob-webs bringing life to every object that it meets culminating its crests and troughs into decent ebbs: i speak of the river that seeps through the sand. not because of its vigour nor for its glory not at all because it has a name so pure (Aghanashini, it is that seems to have a story whatever it may be, i am not too sure) not because near Sirsi it has two origins not for its name meaning "destroyer of sins" no, not for any other reason that i sing of it but because i have a history that seems fit to sing for Aghanashini, and its majestic falls: for while its journey this river makes calls on to a hamlet, up there at the north of the stat

When the summers come When the winters go And the world is home Of sunshine and glow When a cool breeze sweeps The fallen leaves on the roads away When a crazy cloud weeps Drops of rain all day When you hear a thunder And begin to wonder If a hero in the battle field Is roaring with his sword and shield! And again when you begin to feel Nature is not as gentle as it seems That something appears to be real Believing what you see in your dreams When there is a sudden earthquake Producing a quiver and a massive shake Causing a tremble and shudder to the beasts And afear alike the warriors and the priests Or when there's a deafening silence The sky is lit with blinding Twilight, When the cattle graze on the mountain's fence Oblivious to the coming darkness of the night When the Gods in the heavens above Shower the blessings as they fly When the entire Universe is brimmed with Love Know that it is then that: a poet's passing by. Siddartha Pamulaparty Jan 10 2007.

Some fairy had trodden into my lawn Methought when saw I a grey-eyed damsel Who seemed to cast on me a powerful spell That kept me awake untill it was dawn. She wore a helmet and held in her hand Firmly, but gently her weapon-a spear Which had a sharp edge as if meant to tear Dark clouds of ignorance spread on my land. I ran in vain toward her like a child In haste I bent down and kissed her white feet My heart then wreath'd with this desire so wild To wet with my mouth her lips honey sweet And when blow the cool breezes fresh and mild By body, mind and soul, she and I meet. Siddartha Pamulaparty Dt: January 5, 2007.