Kaivalya

All the time back in India when I was reading news about US companies laying-off employees, some filing bankruptcy, government bailing-out some, I was sad, but it was not so disheartening. Looking at things from a distance, you just feel sorry and then get on with it. The first day here in US, I happened to go the Circuit City. The store had a "Store Closing Sale" board hanging outside. When I went it, I suddenly felt sick, my heart went so low, literally this was a shock!! I felt really pathetic about it! I intend to write again when I find time, how life seems to be changing in the US, and how sad I really felt about things I have seen or heard so far.

Fresh breeze of autumn fills my lungs today: As if I woke up in yonder woods, As if my dream was now so true, As if I realized my solemn wish, It felt like I could spread my wings And fly away, freely, liberated!! Life seemed not so burdensome Looking at the year gone by; All those moments that have been spent Seemed to come back in my memories again!! Everything around me glowed in bright spirits, Good times have made their way from eternal oblivion; But then, will it last? The pessimist in me woke up again! -Siddartha Pamulaparty Oct 21, 2008.

The Bhagawan begins His discourse in II:2. II:6 Arjuna in a fix between what's right and what's wrong. He is a cloud, suspended between the sky and the sea. II:7 Arjuna does the best; Surrenders himself to Bhagawan. The Great Lecture starts in II:11. II:12 is a great sloka: na tv evaham jatu nasam na tvam neme janadhipah na caiva na bhavisyamah sarve vayam atah param First mention of the 'soul' in II:13. dehino 'smin yatha dehe kaumaram yauvanam jara tatha dehantara-praptir dhiras tatra na muhyati Important Note: The soul is mentioned as 'that', not called as 'aatma' so far. II:14, some important concepts: Sense Perception ( माथ्रास्पर्शाह ) , Tolerance ( तितिक्शः ) II:15 speaks about 'Eligibility for Liberation' ( अमृत त्वाय ) II: 16 Word to Word Meaning: Never of the non-existent there is endurance; Nchanging quality there is of the eternal; Of the two, verily observed conclusion in deed of them, of the truth, by the seers. nasato vidyate ...

"Oscar Wilde once told Andre Gide that he had put his genius into his life, and only his talent into his art. " - So goes the first line in the Introduction in the book "The Works of Oscar Wilde" published in The Wordsworth Poetry Library Series, published in 1994 by Wordsworth Editions Ltd., Hertfordshire, England, printed in Denmark by Norhaven. I bought the book in New Delhi on 07th June, 2004. Long back, I think about 15 years ago atleast, I accidentally came across a book titled "The Complete Works of Oscar Wilde" at my grandfather's bunglaw room in Warangal. I read the La Belle Donna Della Mia Mente in the book, and I could now, looking back all these years, say without doubt, that this was what influenced me and brought me into the world of English Poetry. Later on, I came across the book once again in 2000 in my college library. Every line in this poem is my favorite and amazes me everytime I read it. For example, here are a few lines that sho...

Below are some of my notes I found recently, which I wrote down some years back, attempting to study the Geeta. Here are the notes for Chapter One: Observation of the Armies on the Battlefield of Kurukshetra Kurukshetra is described as a piligrimage. They call it the Dharmakshetra, the place where the Dharma will prevail. Diplomacy of Duryodhana has been lauded. First sloka to name the Bhagawan Krishna is 14th. (I:14). The name used here is "Madhava". Mention of Hanuman in I:20. Importance of Hanuman is signified rightly, i.e., Hanuman is a symbol of victory, as Rama was served by him during the crisis in Ramayana (as told by Valmiki). Arjuna's Plight explained in I:29 and I:30 Arjuna's doubt about the 'purpose of war', is similar to my doubt about the 'purpose of my life', which seems like a war, a battle every day. (I:33, 34, 35) I:36 speaks about Fear of acquiring 'sin'. Very appropriate to everyone now. I:37 shows Ignorance. Question "...

Unlike the last time when I went for my H1-B stamping, this time around, going for H1-X stamping was via a train journey. I was glad that it was not in a plane, where even though the time it takes is much much less, the trouble in commuting to and from the airports, sitting with legs twisted in the economy class of the planes, I reckon I could avoid in a train journey, happily sleeping in the night while on the move. The other advantage was not to spend a forlorn night in a hotel, which I always hated. Satisfied with this and also the fact that a lot of cost to the company could be saved, I embarked on this trip. Catching the Chennai Express on the 06th January, I was looking forward to a special sojourn in Chennai the next day, once I complete the formal interview at the US Consulate. Earlier in the day, I heard from a senior colleague about a Lord Jagannath temple in the outskirts of Chennai, which was a miniature model of the original temple in Orissa's Puri. I resol...

Early in the morning, When a new day is born, I wake up in your memories I feel you in my heart…. And that’s when it starts aching: I’ve been longing For belonging To you and I keep Singing this Song… I spend the day at work As if lost in day-dreaming I got a lot of friends there Who tease me that I’m crazy….. And that’s when it all makes sense: I’ve been longing For belonging To you and I keep Singing this Song… It soon grows dark in the sky, Dawn it is, time to get some sleep, But I lay awake- deep in your thoughts When I close my eyes, it’s you in my dreams again…. And that’s how it goes each day of my life: I’ve been longing For belonging To you and I keep Singing this Song… - Siddartha Pamulaparty (Dt: Jan 13, 2008)

Saint Tyagaraja is very well known to all Carnatic Music Lovers.Telugu enthusiasts especially and to some extent some of Tamil, Malayalam and Kannada folks are acquinted with the beautiful Telugu compositions of this prodigal music composer of the 17th Century. And when it is rendered by Smt M S Subbalakshmi, there is an extra bit of magic associated with the songs. I bought a 3-CD set of MS amma rendered Tyagaraja compositions called the "Gems of Tyagaraja".I have bought the entire set for one song, "Nagumomu Kanaleni", a divine composition in the Abheri raga. It is astounding and I kept playing the song in my car from office to home and back, which was about 5 mins in duration. Recently I started listening to others as well, since back in India, travel time increased manifold (from 5 mins in US to about 90 mins here!!). I discovered some even more amazingly divine songs, two of which are: 1) Ninnu Vina Naa Madendu (in Navarasa Kanada raga) and 2) Venu Gana Loluni ...

సీ. కుప్పించి యెగసిన కుండలంబుల కాంతి, గగన భాగం బెల్లఁ గప్పికొనఁగ నుఱికిన నోర్వక యుదరంబులో నున్న, జగముల వ్రేఁగున జగతి గదలఁ జక్రంబుఁ జేపట్టి చనుదెంచు రయమునఁ , బై నున్న పచ్చని పటము జాఱ నమ్మితి నా లావు నగుబాటు సేయక, మన్నింపుమని కిరీటి మఱలఁ దిగువఁ తే.గీ.గరికి లంఘించు సింహంబు కరణి మెఱసి, నేఁడు భీష్మునిఁ జంపుదు నిన్నుఁ గాఁతు విడువు మర్జున ! యంచు మద్విశిఖ వృష్టిఁ , దెరలి చనుదెంచు దేవుండు దిక్కు నాకు. (2-221) The above is a part of the Bhagavatam written by Bammera Pothana in Telugu. This has become a favorite of mine since the time I first heard it, from a 1962 Telugu Movie called "Bheeshma", sung by Ghantasala.Context: This comes with a backdrop of On-Going war between Kauravas and Pandavas in Mahabharatha. While Bheeshma is compelled to take sides with Kauravas, the Bhagawan (Krishna) supports Pandavas. And since His might could not be compared with anyone in the battlefield, Krishna promises to only participate as the charioteer for Arjuna, and by Himself would not touch a weapon!...

On my last post, regarding the lecture on Marx, Gandhi and Social Transformation by Prof. J.V.R. Rao, a friend had asked to deliberate on the point observed on Gandhi being a "philosophical anarchist". Although the Professor did go about explaining related to this, I thought I would rather do my own research and present in this post my learnings on this topic. To begin with, let us look at some back-ground of the concept of "Philosophical Anarchy". Let's try to understand what exactly anarchy stands for: most of us have the opinion that "anarchy" is a state of lawlessness, absence of government and political disorder. It is quite true and generally accepted. However, the political movement of "anarchism" does not see this as a pejorative term. According to the Oxford dictionary (as per the Wikipedia), there is yet another definition of anarchy: "A theoretical social state in which there is no governing person or body of persons, but each...

Today, at the Kakatiya University, there was an Endowment Lecture , a tribute to my late grandfather Sri Pamulaparthy Sadasiva Rao garu. The guest presiding over this year (this being the 3rd yr) of the occasion was Prof. J V Raghavendra Rao (Prof of Sociology), Professor Emeritus of Osmania University. The speech consisted of 3 sections, 1) On Marx as a revolutionary social transformer, 2) On Gandhi as a reformatory social transformer and 3) A critical analysis of today's relevance of Gandhi(ians) and (ism). Speaking on relevance of Marx's theory in present day, Prof Rao quoted examples of Cuba (where there is no unemployement and illiteracy!!!) and Venezuela (improved employment and reduction in poverty in last 2 years) as s0me examples where there has been remarkable application of the "humanistic" principles of the anti-burgeose (read anti-capitalist). On Gandhi, while speaking at it, an interesting and a new point was noted by Prof. Rao on the concept of Satyag...

I walk alone In the streets of loneliness; My mind is empty now, Except the memories of you, my love! I wonder if you're happy now, Without me standing in your way! Would you rather care, If we meet across the road one day!! I don't even know what you call, That, what happened between us! Could not have been the same, Which, would be common among friends!! I walk alone In the darkest hour of night; Thinking of you often, Seeing a lone star fall from the sky!! In the days of brighter sunshines, In the middle of a hot desert, I die and become born again, I suffer the pain, and feel the constant hurt!! On evenings of twisted moonlights My tortured soul turns so restless! I sit by the lake and stare at the ripples, And I smile at my own foolishness!! I walk alone In the jungle no one's walked before; Searching for the most precious thing I lost, Which I could not hold in my hands!! Sometimes I thought you were a dream, Sometimes I fought with my own self! But I know that you we...

నీవు - జగములనేలే పరమాత్ముడవు జన్మనెత్తిన పురుషోత్తముడవు గోవుల గాచిన గోవిందుడవు గోపిక వలచిన గోపాలుడవు శాంత రూపుడవు నారాయాణుడవు ఉగ్ర రూపుడవు నారసింహుడవు గీతనుపలికిన శ్రీ కృష్ణుడవు; నిన్నే నమ్మిన ధ్రువుడను నేను పసివాడను నే ప్రహ్లాదుడను కుచేలుడి వంటి బీద వాడను నీకై వేచే శభరి ని నేను! నీ నామములు నే విని పులకిస్తూ, నీ దివ్య రూపములు నే తిలకిస్తూ, నా మది నిండుగ నిన్నే నింపిన నా తలిదండ్రుల, గురువుల తలుస్తూ ; నా భవహరమును కావగ నాకై భాగవత కావ్యంబు రచించిన కవిగురు పరమ భక్త పోతనకు నిత్యం నివాళులు అర్పణచేస్తూ : భాద్రపద బహుల అష్టమి దినమున ధర్మపాలన చేయగ దివిపై అవతరించిన అచ్యుత నీకిదే నా హృది పలికిన మంగళహారతి! -సిధ్ధార్థా పాములపర్తి janmaashtami, 2008

గణపతి దేవుడి పట్టపుటేనుగు మదమెక్కి కదనరంగమున కదంతొక్కింది రాణి రుద్రమ వీరఖడ్గము ధగధగ మెరిసి భగభగ మండింది బమ్మెర పోతన భాగవతంబు అభ్యుదయంతో ఏకీభవించింది భధ్రకాలీ,పద్మాక్షమ్మా,గోవిందరాజులు కొండంత ధైర్యము గుండెలనిండా నింపిరి! కోటలు నిలిపిన సంగ్రామాలకు కాంతులు జల్లిన సాహిత్యాలకు కానుపు పోసిన కన్నతల్లి కాకతీయుల కంటి వెలుగు, నా ఓరుగల్లు నగారా మోగింది! విప్లవాలకు, ఉద్యమాలకు ఊపిరి పోసిన ఊరు ఇదేలే! సాంఘిక, పౌరాణిక చరిత్ర ల సాక్షిగ నిలిచిన గడ్డ ఇదేలే! జానపదాలను జ్ఞానపదానికి నిండుగ చేర్చిన నగరమిదేలే ! విద్యారణ్యుని విజ్ఞాన ధనాన్ని విప్రుల కొసగిన వేదికిదేలే! బతుకమ్మ, బోనాల పండుగల, సమ్మక్క సారక్క జాతరల, ప్రజల ప్రభంజన ప్రచండముగ ప్రపంచమంతా వినిపిస్తుండగ నా ఓరుగల్లు నగారా మోగింది! -సిధ్ధార్థా పాములపర్తి ఆగష్టు ౧౮, ౨౦౦౮.

I wake up from my deep slumber With your memories in my dreams; I bathe myself in the holy Ganga Where it flows through your heart. I saunter through dark wilderness, Carrying the torch of your wisdom; I sing to the World nay, to Universe Of your great pride and fortitude! I speak the noble, humble tongue That from your womb was begot I pass my life through days and nights And seasons from Winter through Fall- Every moment, inside my heart, It is your name that I always call; Like the peaks of Himalayas that stand High on the ground and touch the sky, With overwhelming and boundless joy For your mighty grand honor, I cry: Mother Nation, Bhaarath, to you today To millions of my brothers too With all my love I proudly say Happy Independence to you! Happy Independence to you!! Jai Hind! Vande Mataram!! -Siddartha Pamulaparty August 15th, 2008

All Sketches drawn by me on 08 and 09 August 2008. -Siddartha Pamulaparty

BLINDNESS Neither time nor eternity Can heal these pains I suffer today; Nor can the pious winds take away These fears deep inside myself! Pouring rains or flooding rivers Cannot put off this burning fire- In my lone heart , broken to shards By constant torture of evil thoughts. VISION My brow is smeared with holy dust My arms hold my offerings to you My eyes, fixed on your smiling lips My heart chanting your thousand names. Awakening in my deepest thoughts, Is your vision over the horizon: Like million suns rising up at once From far across the deep oceans. Siddartha Pamulaparty Aug 06, 2008.

God knows I tried my best to learn the ways of this world, even had inklings we could be glorious; but after all that's happened, the inkles ain't easy anymore. I mean - what kind of fucken life is this? The above lines are from the first page of the book "Vernon God Little" by DBC Pierre (real name Peter Fineley). The book won the Man Booker Prize for the year 2003. The "DBC" in Mr Fineley's pen-name stands for DIRTY BUT CLEAN. Well, I read it about 4 years ago, then why am I posting this now? Well, definitely not a review of the book. Just that I got the same feeling which I got several times before, looking at the life "at-work". You can say it is a kind of frustration and possibly because of stress. Not physical. I would prefer to call it psychological stress rather than "mental" stress, if only there is a difference between the two words, the way I perceive it. Mental stress, is common in almost every walk of human life. This par...

నిండు వెన్నెల కుండపోతగా కురిపిస్తాడు మురిపిస్తాడు తామర పూవుల రెక్కలనన్ని తెరిపిస్తాడు మెరిపిస్తాడు నిషాచరులను శశీకిరణముల తడిపిస్తాడు నడిపిస్తాడు కైలాసంలో కాన్తులనెన్నో ఛల్లిస్తాడు ఝల్లిస్తాడు ప్రభాకరుని ప్రతిబింబంబై వెలుగిస్తాడు గెలుపిస్తాడు అవనిఘర్భమున అన్యాయాల పనిచూస్తాడు అణిచేస్తాడు చుక్కలనన్ని చక్కగచేర్చి లాలిస్తాడు పాలిస్తాడు ఆదిశక్తియే ఆతని అమ్మగ తిలకిస్తాడు పులకిస్తాడు... చిన్నపిల్లలకు చందమామయై, యువతకు తమ తమ ప్రేయసిప్రియుడై, గృహిణిగృహులకు అనుకూల గ్రహంబై... అన్నీ యెరిగిన పెద్దవారలకు అద్వైతము తానై వేదాంతసారముల వెలుగిస్తాడు పలుకిస్తాడు... సిధ్ధార్థా పాములపర్తి జూలై ౧౯, ౨౦౦౮