Kaivalya

Alas, I'm lost again in my own verse: "Nihilistic world I live in my days And in my nights my eyes see blinding rays" Over me perhaps was this long spelt curse. But, yet since I discovered the Tenth Muse, Read her broken lines of tenderly love: In winds of poesy she flew like a dove For Fires of passion her art was the fuse: I sang an elegy to my own past And learnt new techniques of a new device; Sappho, the one who has gracefully cast Entwining with her li'l fingers this dice Called "lyrical poesy" that grew up to last And has on this Earth no equal in price. Siddartha Pamulaparty Jan 21 2007.

I have no shame in confessing to the world of a certain love of mine, which failed through conscious effort of my mind. This love started way back in the summer of last year. Although I met her a couple of times before and came close to converse, it was not until the day I knew it was my last week in London that I really got close to her. She gave me a warm welcome and I courted well with her. In fact, better than anyone close to me would have expected me to fair in these kinds of affairs. All my friends came to know of this new phase in my life slowly and some friends far off are still oblivious of this. I made no attempts to conceal the fact, but neither did I boast of the novel pleasures I found each day and each night. It might sound funny, but each time we met, I took her into me. I used to wet her with my saliva sometimes, as I voraciously enjoyed every moment of our union. She was hot like a fire...a fire that burnt her. I tend to exagerrate, but I could see fumes coming out of...

my love, what can I speak about while in your arms on the bed last night i felt i like i found my angel beside you i found my heaven..... remember the time we first met my eyes were on yours for a long time while my heart beats sang you a song girl, i wish if it was that way forever...... together each minute we spent could i ever forget, through all that we went? sometimes being happy and gay and in joy sometimes a little angry and little sad, oh boy!! no matter what i loved you before you and you left me before i even realized what happened in the year that had past memories of which will with me forever last. -Siddartha Pamulaparty December, 2006-January , 2007.

My mind is as sinuous as a python coiled on a tree I did forsake my virtues and set my evil ego free My heart is full of wickedness and infinite desires Seeking which I insulted the holy sacrificial fires My trembling body is smeared with poison all over it I lost all my bearings,and am enslaved by my cruel wit My scorching eyes are devoid of moisture and mirth I malignated and perverted my decent noble birth My burning belly is ever hungry for more lustful crimes I think I have over-lived my mortal age by many times And even when the obedient angels of death have come To take me with them to the Hell, maybe my true home In all of my selfishness I called on my son's name Which by a sheer chance or some kind of Divine Game Happened to be same as one of the thousand names of Him The slayer of my dirty sin and destroyer of my whim In the event of my present mortal moment, dear my Lord Just bespeaking the most significant and august word I have been forgiven of my most crooked deeds of...

in the holy nakedness of my body i plunder through the woods of terror running in the fields, blazing with a fire i take with me the storms and thunder spreading panic on each face i gaze at with my fearsome eyes glowing with splendor. in the wily cunningness of my mind i slaughter the heads of the intelligent creating havoc across the continents i stir the ocean waters like a coiled serpent hissing poison into the omnipresent winds with my cancered lungs- tumored and vent. in the crazy cruelness of my soul i torture the beasts that can speak hollowing them of their inhibitions i tonsure their heads and pluck out their beaks burning with rage and screaming like hell with my strained tongue, far from being meek. Siddartha Pamulaparty January 15, 2007.

I was reading Rabindranath Tagore's novel "The Home and The World", in which I read a line that captured my thoughts for quite sometime: " Perfect gain is the best of all; but if it is impossible to achieve, then perfect loss is the next best thing. " I have seen life in the brightest lights I have been through many wakeful nights I have traveled across here and there Like the aimless wind that blows everywhere I have known what one's feeling is To discover the world of Atlantis And just when I was about to call My friends I lost, I began to fall To steepest valleys, darkest woods Into the arms of the devil that broods About love and lust and lovely death And how it feels when one stops to breath. I have known as many before me did That perfect gain always is splendid But when things go wrong and vile and gross I seek, the next which is best, the perfect loss. -Siddartha Pamulaparty January 11, 2007

sea is just a destiny that stays outside our land but the body of water that flows from its heart and fills all the homes with treasures of food grains and with it takes every shard, every broken part of the profane, pitiless and pervert human brains! that again which floods the dirtiest streets and cleans up every dark corner covered with cob-webs bringing life to every object that it meets culminating its crests and troughs into decent ebbs: i speak of the river that seeps through the sand. not because of its vigour nor for its glory not at all because it has a name so pure (Aghanashini, it is that seems to have a story whatever it may be, i am not too sure) not because near Sirsi it has two origins not for its name meaning "destroyer of sins" no, not for any other reason that i sing of it but because i have a history that seems fit to sing for Aghanashini, and its majestic falls: for while its journey this river makes calls on to a hamlet, up there at the north of the stat...

When the summers come When the winters go And the world is home Of sunshine and glow When a cool breeze sweeps The fallen leaves on the roads away When a crazy cloud weeps Drops of rain all day When you hear a thunder And begin to wonder If a hero in the battle field Is roaring with his sword and shield! And again when you begin to feel Nature is not as gentle as it seems That something appears to be real Believing what you see in your dreams When there is a sudden earthquake Producing a quiver and a massive shake Causing a tremble and shudder to the beasts And afear alike the warriors and the priests Or when there's a deafening silence The sky is lit with blinding Twilight, When the cattle graze on the mountain's fence Oblivious to the coming darkness of the night When the Gods in the heavens above Shower the blessings as they fly When the entire Universe is brimmed with Love Know that it is then that: a poet's passing by. Siddartha Pamulaparty Jan 10 2007.

Some fairy had trodden into my lawn Methought when saw I a grey-eyed damsel Who seemed to cast on me a powerful spell That kept me awake untill it was dawn. She wore a helmet and held in her hand Firmly, but gently her weapon-a spear Which had a sharp edge as if meant to tear Dark clouds of ignorance spread on my land. I ran in vain toward her like a child In haste I bent down and kissed her white feet My heart then wreath'd with this desire so wild To wet with my mouth her lips honey sweet And when blow the cool breezes fresh and mild By body, mind and soul, she and I meet. Siddartha Pamulaparty Dt: January 5, 2007.

Poesy, my deepest and truest love My ardent passion that I place above Every thing else of my mortal life!! Wish I could probably make you my wife If you were a lady, I would love and wed. Decorate on every night my cozy bed With flowers and light candles around it To cause your white body's every bit Shine with more lustre than that Sun. "If ever, by God, I truly loved someone 'Tis no other woman, nymph, belle or dame", Thus I would swear by the holiest name Of Apollo the nurturer of the Muses nine, "It is but you, for me the most divine." Siddartha Pamulaparty December 29, 2006.

in awe i sing of that great kingdom where the mighty Atlas had reigned the home of mighty peaks and hills the home of placid lakes and noisy rivulets. perhaps the island of that older times where temples, gods and heroes lived is the best example of true love that the august Poseidon garnered for the mere mortal lady Cleito and in that love was born the harmony of the whole humankind of today's world. Siddartha Pamulaparty December 29, 2006.

http://www.minibite.com/oldies/dreamlover.htm dreams of my lover i dream in every dream and like a sunflower i wake to the solar beam the sun is just as bright as is my lover's radiance perhaps a little less in light than her solemn lustrous glance dreams of my lover i dream in every dream in shame my face i cover (very strange as it may seem) when some one knowing her or not call out her sweetest name and hence i become caught in the midst of a feeling of shame dreams of my lover i dream in every dream and crazily i tend to hover in her thoughts, a perennial stream i perhaps cannot ever come back to my natural disposition and wonder what does my own love lack that my lover has become an apparition. dreams of my lover i will always dream and sing of her forever and her sweet names i scream dreams of my lover forever i will dream though she did never of me had seen a dream. Siddartha Pamulaparty December 29, 2006.

why still my heart keeps beating for you? why still my restless eyes search for you? why, again, I think of you inside myself and wonder who wrote this plot so cruel? aren't there better works for me to do than to contemplate upon my crazy past? had i wanted to cry, i could not do so had i screamed as i wanted very desperately to no matter what i do or think of doing its the same image of yours becoming the sole object of my concern every day and every night, though i tried hard as i may to accept the fact that you do not love me but, think and feel, to my own self I say that as much true that you do not love me does equally hold true, my own love for you which does not die by the ending days or the nights not even by the ever changing seasons of the Sun and in despair, i cry out that for whom i care: you were, you are and you will be the one. Siddartha Pamulaparty December 29, 2006.

I had read about Poe earlier that he used to write many things in puzzles. He was a great cryptographer I think. I stumbled across one of his "puzzling" poem. And based on the same puzzle, I wrote my own poem. Of course I could not reproduce the genius of Poe here. Here is the original link of Poe's "The Valentine". http://www.eapoe.org/works/poems/valentnd.htm And here is mine. So thought I that we will be together; Have done I what pray ask me not Captive in golden cage of your love I can not tell now what went further (Even against my own self I fought). I felt vulnerable like the petals of a rose: Did not again, I tell you oh dear one That forsaken I, my own pride for you? Did I not say while we walked on the road, Strange language I spoke about love (was it sweet to hear?) As your eyes twinkled like the Sirius in the sky that night. May be I could perhaps dream of you forever Thus reasoned aptly I, when we had parted. Yet each time I, enamored with your mem...

The three things that are extremely difficult to define yet so obvious. I believe not many really know the meaning of any of these. I, myself, am not sure either... But if one observes with some pondering and a little contemplation, one will know that these are everywhere around us, and we come across them almost at every moment. While a profound thinker might give some complex definitions of them, a true analysis will show how simple these may seem to be. Let me scribble here what I feel about each of these and try to collate the basic essence of these three things and investigate the connections amongst them. Art: Many people have defined art in many different ways. The term "artist" has itself been defined in many funny ways. According to the ancient wisdom of my country, there are 64 kinds of arts. In general circulation of the civilization, the perception of art is that of a medium of expression, imagination and creation. In an earlier essay of mine, I wrote about what S...

i will wait here for a little longer till this feeling grows more stronger till these meadows filled up with snow wear back their garments much so greener till these dry trees, strained in the cold winter clad again the graceful flowers in their bosoms till the golden rays of the valorous Sun reach every corner of this murky world till the autumn no more fells the woods till the spring brings back everything to life whence the cascades of pure water flow into the rivers and finally consummate in the mighty ocean which reflects peace. i will wait here for a little longer till this feeling grows more stronger till the world before me is no more scarce of happiness and love and truth till the brothers in the neighborhood have mirth and heed for their fellow youths till the men and women i see around me progress toward the enlightenment seeking no greedy wealth or evil sins instead walking for causes noble of spreading love and brotherhood amongst us no matter what's the color of our s...

there's a pain inside my heart i think again what was wrong on my part there's an ache inside my chest i need a break i am tired, always giving my best time and time the tides have come to shake my faith and take my home time and time the tides have come to shake my faith and take my home no matter how real hard they try i am a man, and i don't cry..... i am a man, and i don't cry..... there's a cut inside my flesh i am fainting but, in my mind those memories are still fresh there's a hurt inside my nerves finding it so curt the way my life is on the downward curves time and time the tides have come to shake my faith and take my home time and time the tides have come to shake my faith and take my home no matter how real hard they try i am a man, and i don't cry.... i am a man, and i don't cry..... i don't cry, i don't cry even if i lost my lover i don't cry, i don't cry though i know i am a wilted flower i don't cry, i don't cry i...

As I walk past the Michigan Avenue I still can't stop thinking of you Here and there a pretty face I see But I know that thing is not for me I hear some Blues when I cross the road A different tune, while I am feeling bored When I start to believe there's so much to explore here A breaking voice inside me begins to interfere: Chicago streets, I sing while I walk, girl Chicago streets, where my eyes search for you........................ The great sky-scrapers touching the Heavens The busy folks talking into their cell phones The lady staring me past the glass door of the Fish Bar Amidst the stranded traffic, the loud honking of the car..... When I start to believe there's so much to excite me A cracking sound croons like the waves in a sea: Chicago streets, I sing while I walk, girl Chicago streets, where my eyes search for you........................

throw not that smirk of indolence on my poverty, o Princess give me a crescent smile instead whence I can see a dream fulfilled Siddartha Pamulaparty. Nov 24, 2006.

what am i but a fallen leaf lone petal of a wilted rose blown away by the streams of breeze- my life is like a yellow sheaf. dry and worn out in summer's heat! 44˚ 30΄N 18˚ 60΄E Сапна England 18 Two Halves DH 08468082: http://www.bankofengland.co.uk/banknotes/current/current_10.htm